But what they don’t tell you is that once you’re out of the closet, you’re out of the frying pan and into the fire, honey—because many gay men have the same hang-ups about masculinity as those spiteful boys from middle school.The performance of masculinity dictates how some gay men communicate on gay hookup and dating apps: those who identify as “masc,” those who specifically seek out “MASC ONLY (no femme!!Sure, you can go out with friends, travel, experience life, but it can be mentally and emotionally dangerous to travel with more attractive friends when you'll most likely be the one going home alone as the others pick up a guy or two.It's a little lonely as well as depressing not to get talked to when out.When you’re a closeted gay boy, masculinity performance is one of the tools you use to survive.For those who are unwilling or unable to maintain a facade, straight boys seize upon your feminine mannerisms and call your gender into question, teasing you until the way you act without thinking becomes something to be ashamed of.
Being attractive seems to be pretty much a necessity to feel a sense of belonging in the gay community.
Yes, you can exude confidence, socialize, and dance like no other, but that doesn't seal the deal when looking for someone that is physically attracted to you.
I often play a little game when I go out and when I remember to play, I usually "win" every time.
)” guys, and those who both identify as masculine as well as prefer it in their partners — the masc4masc.“I was chatting with some guy on Grindr, late night (as these things go).
He didn’t live that far from me so I agreed to meet up with him near his place. I just usually like to call guys on the phone before meeting up to make sure they’re not too femme-y.