“I just can’t do the whole dating thing,” confesses Sarah, 32.
“It’s not that I don’t want to find love, it’s more that I’m shy and awkward so I find the whole dating process torturous.
But that doesn't mean they can't hold a conversation.
"I think another misconception is that introverts would be dull dates," Dembling says.
For example, your flavor of introversion might be, “Weekends are for family,” while another person’s might be, “Weekends are for solitude,” and a third person’s might be, “Weekends are for my three closest friends.” Your style of introversion might be “I could spend every night with that one special person,” while person’s might be, “I’m OK spending only weekends together.” Your introverted way of dealing with problems might be, “Let’s sit down right now with a bottle of wine and hash this out until it’s fixed,” while your partner’s might be, “Let me think about it for a few days and get back to you.” And, of course, introversion is only one small part of all the moving parts that make us who we are.
While it is a handy and nonthreatening label, introversion reason someone is seeking space in your relationship.
If you’re an introvert too, you can probably relate to Sarah and might find comfort knowing that what you’re feeling is normal.Imagine a horizontal line with introversion at one end and extroversion on the other.Most of us fall somewhere between those two extremes, expressing the traits to different degrees and in different ways.The problem seems to be that we understand it too much. Accepting our own need for space and the similar or conflicting needs of other people, and respecting our own and other people’s various ways of interacting with the world—it’s all good.We wind up pulling away completely from each other, and giving each other too much room. It leads us to a level of acceptance that can only enhance our relationships and our humanity.