Whether you're creating a new profile or you're a longtime, frustrated online dater, I have some insights that will help make your experience better.(L-r) RYAN GOSLING as Jacob and EMMA STONE as Hannah in Warner Bros. w=670" data-large-file="https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=1024&h=683 1024w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=2048&h=1366 2048w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=150&h=100 150w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=670&h=447 670w, https://scstylecaster.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/crazy-stupid-love-movie-image-ryan-gosling-emma-stone-02.jpg? w=768&h=512 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" to be a precursor to an actual relationship, first dates are also mini-interviews disguised as social outings, whether we like to admit it or not. They’ll also further loosen the two of you up and can lead to some funny, entertaining conversation. Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them. On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation. Best of all, there were hundreds of online dating sites waiting for me to sign on. We'd meet up later that day, when I'd discover that he was (a) five inches shorter than he listed in his profile; (b) "fun-employed" and no longer looking for a job; (c) still in some kind of relationship; (d) possibly a serial killer; (e) all of the above.
Why: Are they very involved with their family of origin? The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder? Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings. We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic. Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem.